The love of traveling and in-betweens’

I love travelling. And I think travelling loves me to.
My love for travelling is unconditional. It doesn’t matter what it puts me through. I can do however many flights with stale air, dry airplane-food servings followed by long passport controls. I never get bored.

I love the flow of people, the mix of nationalities of being on the way, the movement and the stillness in one. Although I am concerned by the carbon footprint I do like being still in an full speed airplane hovering above the earth. It’s the perfect point of in betweens. Of leaving a place, a past, moving on to something new, another place, something you have no idea what it’s going to be like. It is anticipation.

I also love airports. It’s the point of landing. Another true point of in betweens. When I booked the flights I didn’t look for the fast one. No, I got the one with a stopover of 4 hours in Amsterdam, then 13 hours in an U.S airport. I can’t wait to be 13 hours in an airport. I see it as “free time”. I can do whatever I want. For 13 hours. Wow. Time to land.

A month ago I was more at peace when I was still in Dahab. I could sit just watching the sea. The I couldn’t stop moving. Something is different. My inner deep restlessness had crept out of it’s hiding and was seeping into my blood. My thoughts have been racing my body. I simply couldn’t sit still. I ran, I biked, I was flowing through yoga, workout in the gym. work in a shop, answered endless e-mails, meet people, knit beanies, meet more restlessness.
I feel the need to travel. To see someone.
I know the need to do more yoga and meditation.
I need to write my book.
I never write as well as when I’m traveling. I finally get time away from constant wi-fi and the perceived need to do some of my 7 jobs, meet a friend or multitask a million different activities. It’s as if the speed of moving, traveling clears the fog and helps me write.

Through writing this text I know I have an issue to deal with. Something I know I share with a lot of other people; The pressure. The need to perform. The need to be constantly busy because there is so much to do. So many opportunities to do better, to help. There is so much to experience. Life is too short. I want to slow down. I want to live more.
I often hear people say “Wow, you have done so many things”, “You are doing so many things”, “What are you going to do next?” or “What are the 100 things you have going on right now”.

Then there was a coach telling me he was disappointed. He was expecting me to do even more.. That I could make more of a change if I only stripped down my adventures and travels, to not live as I learn at all. It made me crumble, question a lot, and make some stupid decisions.

It’s not just “their” expectations, it’s me. I love action, I love doing things. I’m full of energy. But for me it’s important to be and do it with a sense of inner peace. That’s only one reason why I’m traveling now. To be continued.